A new short story by Patricia

What’s a Girl Got to Do For a Drink in This Bar?

“I really have to pee,” I announced, trying to get someone at my table’s attention.  But Eminem’s newest single was cranked up so loud the club was vibrating and the dance club we were in was packed.  “Lisa, did you hear me?”

“What?” She yelled, grinding her hips back against some random guy who looked a little too pleased about having my hot roommate close to him.  He didn’t look too short but Lisa was six foot in stocking feet and the high heels she was wearing meant she towered over Mr. Bump and Grind.  No, he was probably just under six foot, and he was built well but there was a definite reason the guy was staying behind her for their little dirty dancing interlude.  I wasn’t particularly sure if it was because of his butt chin or the fact he was almost bald.  It could have been the fact that he was missing several rather important teeth.  Any of them would have been reason enough.  All of them together?  Oh man, Lisa was going to regret this tomorrow morning.

“I have to pee!” I screamed just as the volume of the music dropped slightly.  Of course.  The guy I’d been dancing with stepped back, his eyes wide and melted away into the crowd.  Jesus, it wasn’t like I’d said I was going to pee on him.  What?  Had he never peed before?  I’d had six beers and two margaritas what did he expect?

“Okay,” she yelled back, nodding.  “Where’s your brother?”

“That’s a good question,” I said, leaning close to her so I didn’t have to yell.  “Hopefully he’s not off with some skank in the alley.”

“Tolliver wouldn’t do that,” she replied, pulling away from Mr. Bump and Grind to talk to me.  She grabbed my shoulders and stopped dancing.  “He’s too sweet for that.”

“Hardly,” I snorted and shook my head.  I didn’t want to bother explaining myself though.  Let her think it was sibling rivalry or something.  Otherwise I was going to have to explain a whole bunch of stuff to my roommate that might not go over too well.  Like the fact that my Dad was the Devil.  And after I did that I’d just whip out my horns and tail to give her a good scare.

“You go to the bathroom, I’ll find Tolliver and we’ll meet you at the table.”

“I’ll find him when I get back,” I shouted.  “Don’t worry about it.  I’ll get Tolliver and we’ll meet you at the table.” The last thing I needed was Lisa finding Tolliver out in the alley sucking face with some woman while he drained her soul.  Since he was the Archdemon of Gluttony he had to be buzzing pretty hard already with all the over indulgence taking place in the club. It wouldn’t be fair not to expect him to get a little pick me up.

She just nodded before turning away and tottering back to the table.  Hopefully my brother didn’t indulge himself too much. Lisa and I had both been drinking pretty heavily and I knew neither of us could drive.  If it were just me and Tolliver I would open a phase portal to home.  But with Lisa there we would have to find a more conventional way back to mine and Lisa’s apartment.  She was drunk but she was with it enough to notice something like that.

Oh well, we’d just have to figure it out later.  Right now my bladder was killing me and if I didn’t make it to the bathroom soon I was going to burst.  I hurried toward the back of the club and looked at the line to the bathroom.  It wound all the way back to the dance floor and I knew there had to be at least 50 women ahead of me.  Crap.  I wasn’t going to make it if I had to wait in this line.  I knew I shouldn’t have had that shot of tequila Bridgitte from Physical Therapy ordered everyone.  But then again she was Denise’s Maid of Honor.  It was her responsibility to make sure everyone was well lubricated.

I waved my fingers and watched a foggy haze settle over the other women in line.  They started looking around, confused, and began to wander out of line.  Within twenty seconds they were all gone and I was in the ultra modern, navy blue bathroom by myself.  Even the bathroom attendant chick had wandered off, leaving her tip basket sitting out for anyone to grab.

I finished what I had to do and washed my hands.  I wasn’t big on using my powers unless I absolutely had to but this was an absolutely had to.  I ran my fingers through my hair and slicked on another coat of lipstick before making my way out of the bathroom and back into the crowded bar.  Ugh. T-Pain.  I wiggled my fingers again and the song cut short, immediately switching to Rihanna.

Now where the Hell was my half brother Tolliver at?  I rose up on my tiptoes and tried to peer over the crowd.  The problem was, even in heels, I was shorter than most of the people in the club.  And it didn’t help when everyone had their hands over their head, bouncing along with the music.

I pushed my way across the dance floor, craning my neck and looking back and forth.  He had to be around here somewhere.  There was no way he would have ditched us.  None.  He’d shown up at our apartment while we were getting ready and nothing I’d said could persuade him to leave.  And then Lisa had invited him along.

I’d told him it was a bachelorette party and almost had him convinced he didn’t want to go.  I mean after all why would he want to go out with a group of giggling, middle aged women intent on celebrating the state of matrimony?  He hated the very concept of marriage.  And after twenty nine years of watching our father and his failed attempts at the practice I couldn’t blame him.  I wasn’t real keen on the idea myself, but that was another story.  And it required a lot more tequila first.

His ‘no’ was firmly in my grasp and my brother almost out of the apartment but then Lisa, distracted, had fluffed her breasts up higher in her shirt. Tolliver was a breast man.  You could have a face like a Chihuahua but if you had a nice rack he’d be after your soul before you could say ‘Our Father’.

And my obnoxious brother had been hooked.  There was no way Lisa’s breasts were going anywhere tonight without him tagging along.  To be fair, he had behaved.  He’d picked up the tab for dinner, bought everyone two rounds of beer and a round of shots, and been pleasant about it.  He hadn’t even lost his cool when Bridgette had goosed him and suggested, drunkenly, that he give Denise a lap dance.  Instead, he’d whispered something in her ear that made her blush, giggling like a schoolgirl, and gave her a pinch on her ass in return.

He’d behaved, before, but I couldn’t find him now.  And that?  Yeah, that didn’t bode well for someone in Pittsburgh tonight.  Which meant it didn’t bode well for me tonight either.  Because I was going to have to clean up his mess.  I just knew it.  Damn where his wicked black soul should have been.

Wait, hold on a second.  Why was I killing myself looking for Tolliver like I was some mortal?  I took a deep breath and focused, letting my power flow through me.  I saw red sparks shimmering from a corner of the bar and began pushing my way through the crowd.  Hopefully they were just sparks of drunken power and he hadn’t done something stupid.

An explosion of black power erupted and the lights in the club began to flicker.  The music cut off with a screech and the fluorescent beer signs over the bar exploded. Aw hell, that definitely wasn’t good.

The crowd headed in mass toward the door, pushing and shoving as they went.  Smart people.  Even if they didn’t realize it.  Good, smart, drunken people heading toward the door.  Instead of following the crowd like a rational mortal, my stupid demon nature couldn’t let it be.  I knew Tolliver was behind whatever had just happened.

I worked my way through the club and stumbled to a stop in front of the bar.  Power exploded in a black fireball from the corner where Tolliver was glowing a brilliant, blood red.  This was bad.  Very, very bad.

Another fire ball erupted and Tolliver laughed gleefully, clapping his hands together like a toddler at Christmas.  What in the name of Evil did he think he was doing?  A third fireball exploded and I stood, dumbfounded, watching the figure hidden inside the flame.  It couldn’t be.  He wouldn’t dare.

There was a loud sucking sound and the power disappeared into the figure it had previously hidden. Ah damn.  I was going to kill him.

Lisa slumped forward, resting her head against the top of the bar and groaned.  Black wings exploded out of her back in a riot of feathers, ripping her shirt down the back, and a pair of tiny black horns peeked out the sides of her caramel colored ponytail.

“Can I have my Amaretto Sour now?” She muttered her head still against the bar.  “I’m really thirsty all of a sudden.”

“Garcon,” Tolliver called out, snapping his fingers at the young man cowering under the bar, his dreadlocks shaking in fear.  “A drink for the lady.”

“What the Hell did you do?” I yelled, hurrying over to wrap my arms around my roommate.  She had wings.  And a tail.  Things she did not have when we left our apartment this evening.

“I traded your best friend a drink in return for her soul.  I have her soul and now she wants an Amaretto Sour.  Except the bartender won’t come out from under the beer taps long enough to make her one.  He’d better not expect a tip.  I’ll tell you that right now.”

“What did you do to her?” I repeated.  “She’s got wings.”

“Of course she does,” he answered, snapping his fingers again.  “Garcon!  I never have these sorts of problems getting a beer when I go out with Jesus.  What is the deal?”

“The deal is my mortal roommate now has wings!”

“Well she wouldn’t be much of a succubus without them.  Would she?” he asked rolling his eyes at me.

“You turned my roommate into a succubus?”

“Well,” Tolliver licked his licks and looked over the broad expanse of creamy skin her wings had exposed.  “She’s definitely got the physical attributes to be successful at it.”

I felt a shaking hand on my arm and turned, my eyes flashing, to glare at the bartender.  He was holding a glass full of red liquid, tears running down his face.  I took the glass from him and stared into his eyes.  “Go home.  The beer coolers broke tonight about midnight and you closed the bar.  You got the bar cleaned up and were home by 3 am.  You had two pieces of toast with jelly and went straight to bed.”

“I’m gluten intolerant,” the man muttered, his eyes focused on mine.

“Fine, you had a plum.  Then you went to bed.  Sleep well.”


“Good night!” I said sharply.

“Good night,” he agreed, turning on his heel and wandering out of the bar.  I turned to glare at my brother and he smiled.

“Very impressive.”

“Shut up you asshole,” I snapped, grabbing the Amaretto Sour and downing it in one gulp.  “What the Hell are we supposed to do now?”

“I’m going home,” Tolliver answered, snapping his fingers so a phase portal opened.

“What do you mean you’re going home?”

“The party’s over,” Tolliver replied, looking around the now empty bar.  “I’m going home.  I’d recommend you do the same.”

“You turned my roommate into a succubus!  What am I supposed to do now?”

“That is a very good question,” Tolliver announced stepping through his portal and turning around to look at me.  “I’ll be dying to find out how you handle it but I really have somewhere to be now.  Bye.”

I narrowed my eyes when he waved at me, a shit eating grin on his face, while the portal closed behind him with a snap.

“You’ll be dying all right,” I muttered, glaring at the space where the rift in reality had been.  I opened a phase portal and grabbed my unconscious roommate, dragging her through the portal and into our living room.  “Just wait till I get my hands on you.”


Want more?  Find it in ‘Luck of the Devil’ in stores now.